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Heather Elliott
Fighting Our Battles
posted 1/11/08 by Heather Frye
Okay since my kiddos were born, they would sleep in their own cribs all the way up until they were old enough to be put in big boys beds. Ever since then the battles begun. Getting up and down out of bed, coming into our room in the middle of the night. Well at that point in my life i figured what the hell, and everytime they would get up in the middle of the night they would come to our room and get in bed with us, and ofcourse we let them stay, too tired to deal.
When they went to bed we would lay there with them so we wouldnt have to deal with screaming and crying and the such. Well let me tell ya. about 2 years we have dealt with this and now its going to stop, i cant deal anymore with 4 people in the bed and me falling asleep at night with them in their beds while putting them to sleep. It ruins my night and I have had enough.
Soooo...Starting this week, we tried something new. The one thing i never wanted to do just because it would be a battle to fight to get them to stay in their rooms. So Monday we started out by letting them know what the new plan was, and made it sound fun and interesting and of course bribing them helped by saying if they go to sleep at night alone with no mommy or daddy for a whole week then they can go to chucky cheese on Sat.
Let me tell you, the first night SUCKED ASS. It was so stressful on them and Me and my husband i swear i almost gave up. it was so hard. Listening to them scream to the tops of their lungs, saying HELP HELP, MONSTERS, PLEASE HELP, IM SCARED. oh man it broke my heart. Let a lone them coming out of the room every 5-10 seconds. It was def. the hardest battle we have fought in a long time.
Well finally after 2 hours of this they started calming down but yet still crying, they were exhausted we were exhausted, and finally i didnt know what else to do before i would have gone crazy, so i decided to stand close to their door to where they could see me, and what do you know, it worked, they were alseep in minutes. Well so Tuesday night rolls along and im dredding the bedtime thing all over again, but we read our books sang our songs and lights out, but this time i stood by the door the whole time.
The older one Jaden was the best this night, he understood if he got up, no chucky cheese, but Cody the two year old, could care less and didnt really grasp the whole reward thing in the end, so it was difficult for him. Another long night, 2 hours went by and Cody was still crying, but this time he only got up a few times vs. 8,000 times like the night before.
I put a CD on this night in hopes that it would calm them. Jaden fell asleep in about an hour, Cody 2 hours. We decided that Mark would do it one night i would do it the other, it was easier with only one person fighitng the battles. Wednesday night rolls along and Its Marks turn. This night was much better than the two before, Jaden now understand and didnt get up at all. Cody maybe 5-10 times, but not much crying went on this night. The soothing music helps and Jaden fell asleep in 30 min, cody maybe an hour and 15. Getting better.
Jaden loves waking up and putting his sticker on his chart of successful sleeping through the night alone. Its cute to see him grow and learn. Let me remind you they still get up in middle of the night but usually they would stay in our bed, we have done a wonderful job i think of taking them back to their rooms when this occurs. Its been nice having our bed back to ourselves. But still interupted sleep eventually it will get better.
Last night was the best night yet, neither child got up, they both slept on the top bunk together and cody had a few spouts of crying but nothing much, they chatted and laughed a bit together but eventually the music took them to dream land. Remind you they think im staying outside their door, in reality im not, im either sitting on the couch listening for them or doing laundry etc. What they dont know doesnt hurt.
So basically the moral to my story is...if your dealing with the same situation as we did, go ahead and fight that battle, it's hard and stressful and exhausting but it works, it really does. Or if your not dealing with the same situation my advice is if you have kids, get them in their beds at early age, dont lay with them and be consistent.
